Have you ever considered that you are a gatekeeper, too? You are the gatekeeper to achieving your dreams! You are the person saying things like, “That isn’t going to happen,” and “Why am I bothering?” to yourself. You doubt, critique, and generally stop yourself from taking big risks to reach your goals. You might blame other people or circumstances, but ultimately it is your responsibility to make “it” happen, and if you let your gatekeeper run the show, you won’t succeed.

The key to getting past your own gatekeeper is to practice a positive mindset and staying true to your dreams. The gatekeeper in you will say your dream isn’t possible – you need to counter the negativity with confidence. It doesn’t come naturally  - you have to develop it like when you develop muscles in your body. The more you work out, the easier the workouts get. They can even become fun! The more you practice a positive mindset – telling yourself that you CAN be successful, for instance – and remind yourself what you are going for, the easier it gets to ignore the gatekeeper and move forward. You can never please her anyway!

Next week, I’ll cover how to be fearless!

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Need support in battling your gatekeeper? Contact me at info @ livingfullout.com. I’d love to help!

You don’t need to be a millionaire to make a positive impact. Using your resources now, how can you make a difference in other people’s lives? You have charities in your community that might be able to use your services but can’t afford to. Perhaps you can offer your services for free or at a deeply discounted price. You could offer free consulting services, or be a mentor to people who don’t have access to the kind of education they need to succeed.

In these economic times, people tend to hole up and become hyper-focused on growing or even maintaining their businesses. At the same time, charitable giving drops while more people need charities to help them get through. It is the vicious cycle of a recession. Your support and gifts are needed now more than ever.

Currently, I am volunteering at a women’s domestic violence shelter, even though my day can begin at 4am and end at 10pm. I am drawn to the issue of helping women and children who suffer from domestic violence and I want to share with them the coaching services that I charge people for. While I am not their coach per se, I try to share with these women how I have succeeded and that they can use the same tools to make their own lives better. I feel fortunate to be given the opportunity.

I challenge you to look at your business and figure out a way to use your products or services to help others. Or leave me a comment on how you are doing that already and inspire me! It’s okay to toot your own horn about how you are making a positive impact – you might even give someone else an idea on how they can make a difference, too.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Want to know about my coaching services? Contact me at info @ livingfullout.com

Maybe you feel overwhelmed by all of the opportunities to give back. Homeless shelters, pet shelters, environmental groups, food banks, religious organizations and more are all vying for our extra time. As caring, empathetic people, we want to do it all so we end up doing nothing because we can’t pick just one. A possible solution is to pick a charity per month to give your attention to. For instance, March is American Red Cross month. You can give blood or volunteer in their office. You can organize a clothing drive in your neighborhood for disaster victims. The organization has no shortage of projects that need your help. Next month, pick a new area close to your heart. Then you are doing something for many of the topics you care about.

“But what about my schedule, Nancy? I just don’t have time!” I know, we are busy. We wake up in the morning and next thing we know we are brushing our teeth and getting ready for bed. How can we possibly fit in 3 hours at the local food bank? I have said these very words myself. The great part about volunteering is that you can always find some organization that can work with your schedule. If you can’t fit in 3 hours at one time, maybe you can raise money and awareness for a charity at your workplace or offer to collect canned goods and drop them at the food bank on your way home from work.

In the past year I lost 40 lbs. and had all of my old clothes cluttering my closet. It would have been very easy to shove them in a corner  in anticipation of gaining the weight back, but I knew there was someone who could use these clothes. I invited a friend over and she helped me sort through my things and then helped me deliver them to Goodwill. It is a small step but one that can make a big difference for someone in need.

Don’t see giving back as a grand gesture that comes with big accolades. You probably aren’t going to raise enough money to single-handedly end heart disease. By doing what you can, your efforts will be felt by those who need the help. Living Full Out includes thinking of others’ needs in your life and in your community. You have a lot to give and I am confident that you will impact the lives of many.

————————————————————————————————————-

I’d love to talk to you about how you can contribute in the world. Email me at info @ livingfullout.com.

I see it all of the time. Caring people taking care of those they love, volunteering for multiple causes, doing favors for neighbors and friends but forgetting to take time for their own rejuvenation. Sometimes the excuses sound convincing: “I can’t go out to dinner with friends because I am saving money for my daughter’s birthday party.” “I miss going to the gym but I’m so busy with my volunteering I just don’t have time.” “I am really busy at work right now.” Yet, if you keep giving and giving but never give to yourself, you will burn out. And then you can’t give to anyone.

Some people avoid doing things for themselves because they are unhappy with where they are at in life. They can’t justify treating themselves well because they feel they have to right all of their wrongs first. That logic is completely backwards! The best way to feed your confidence is to talk to friends over coffee and share your concerns, or go take that tough gym class you have been avoiding and see that you survived it. Do something to put yourself in a calm, satisfied mindset so that when you get to work on life’s challenges, you come from a place of “I can do this!”

Essentially, when you are good to yourself, life will be good to you. This can mean taking time to grow through education, throwing yourself into exercising or learning a new hobby. You can simply reserve personal time during a busy day of commitments.  Being good to yourself doesn’t mean you have to spend money, either. Taking 30 minutes to read a book can be very fulfilling. Or just wandering your public library and picking something that looks interesting can be quite meditative and satisfying.

While Living Full Out is about going after your life in a big way, it is also important to recharge your mind and body and give it time to simply be.  This precious time is dedicated to reviving your passions and relaxing your mind.  If you miss taking time for yourself, you don’t allow your body, mind and soul to refresh and prepare for the adventures that are ahead of you.  It is easy to peter out if you are not careful and don’t give yourself the opportunity to laugh, take deep breaths and enjoy yourself.  Otherwise you run the risk of working really hard and then later wondering what it was all for, since you feel tired and disconnected. You are the captain of your ship and while responsibilities are inevitable and reaching our goals may take a lot of hard work, you must also take your foot off the pedal just long enough to recharge and reconnect with yourself.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Not sure how to treat yourself well? I’d love to help you! Contact me at info @ livingfullout.com.

Don’t stop there! Valentine’s Day is a great day to celebrate your relationship with yourself. We often jump at the opportunity to do nice things for others like buying them gifts, writing cards or doing other kind gestures but then we overlook taking time to love ourselves. If you get your nails done or buying a new dress for a special event, I welcome you to consider it a treat you are giving yourself, as opposed to a “must” part of the getting-ready process. Enjoy the entire experience, too: admire yourself in the mirror and put that cell phone down when the nail tech gives you a foot massage!

This holiday dedicated to love reminds us to slow down, smell the roses and embrace those we care about and adore.  I have celebrated Valentine’s Day with romantic evenings with dates and festive Girls Night Out events with my single girlfriends, both expressing love and joy.  I cherish the Valentine’s cards from my parents over the years expressing their love for me.  Use some time from this day to block out the everyday routine and commitments and bask in love and friendship. Though Valentine’s Day has passed, you can still take a moment to recall all the love you received.

If your Valentine’s Day was not celebrated with a significant other, I invite you to nurture yourself and let love wash over you and provide you hope that you will feel love again.  I have been there and can understand the loneliness while everyone else shares about how great it is to be in a relationship, but I also know that love comes in many forms and you have to be open in order to receive love.  I encourage you to trust in love and believe that you deserve it.  Just know that I value you as a friend of mine and I wish you lots of love and warm memories this month.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I live life as an experience. I could choose to look at common tasks as just items on my “to do” list but instead I strive to embrace each task with curiosity, excitement and adventure. What I adore about being an entrepreneur is that I create new ideas and establish action plans for how I want to make my ideas real. I feel gratified when I develop something from an idea all the way to a product or service, being able to harness my inspirations and massage them until I can bask in my accomplishments. Does every idea convert into a successful outcome? No, of course not, but that doesn’t stop me from trying again and again.

Children look at everything as if it were new, and I advise you to practice this same wonderment with your ideas AND their challenges. We have to tap into that openness and give ourselves the freedom to take chances, to not be limited by our fears, insecurities or the negative influence of others. A great way to create that sense of excitement is to visualize yourself through the development process of your idea. This is a meditative exercise, so you will need to go somewhere quiet where you will not be interrupted. Sit or lay down, close your eyes, and imagine yourself taking your idea from the beginning to its realization. When you see yourself being successful at what it is you are creating, notice how much confidence you have, even though you haven’t even started working on the idea yet! Do this visualization as often as you need to stay motivated, but no fewer than once a week for full effect.

Besides visualizing your success, imagine the impact your idea will have on others. Whether you will influence one person or change the world, you still will make in impact. I call this the “why” of the project. When I am brainstorming my ideas and working through the learning curves and troubleshooting the evitable roadblocks, I keep the “why” near to my heart. It is more motivating than “making lots of money,” although I am happy to increase my bottom line. Ultimately, what propels me forward is knowing how much my project will help others.

Lastly, you want to keep in mind that the world is waiting for your greatness! Don’t deprive us of what you have to offer by stopping yourself part way through your project. See it through to the end, whether it turns out the way you visualized or not.

I am proud of you for taking the steps in the direction of being creative, fearless and courageous. That is what Living Full Out is all about and I am excited to hear about all the ideas that will soon flourish for you.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Do you need support in visualizing your goals? I am happy to help. Contact me at info @ livingfullout.com and let’s talk!

One determining factor on how we deal with issues or breakdowns is how we talk to ourselves. This internal voice is critical to your mind and body’s ability to withstand the stress of the situation. It might seem obvious to you that to thrive you need to stop listening to your internal critic, but do you do it? Do you tell your mind, “I am not listening to you,” when that voice is stopping you from taking action or encouraging self-destructive action? Interrupting the drone of the self-critic takes practice and courage. I say courage because your self-critic would rather you not listen to it and stay the same; to not listen and take unpredictable action means you are having a breakthrough. Breakthroughs mean growth, the self-critic’s enemy.

Another factor that determines how we handle difficult roadblocks is how we relate to their perceived permanence.  For example, people are not so good at seeing a bad day as just one day in a string of many days to come, most of which will be better than the bad one. We relate to the bad day as permanent: “This is a bad day and I am stuck with it.” It then determines how we relate to the rest of the day when really it was just one or a few bad things that happened all day long.

The most successful people I have met are able to recognize a challenging situation as an isolated moment in time and believe that life beyond that moment will be better.

Lastly, whether or not you think that people are paying attention to you can predict how you will face obstacles. If you think that no one cares about what you do or how you do it, you might make “unattractive” choices, like being grumpy, difficult or passive aggressive. If instead you consider yourself a role model to friends, family and co-workers, you might make more attractive choices like being straightforward about what you need or want in the situation.

Friends tell me that they are inspired by my creativity in finding solutions, specifically how I ask for help without being needy. Knowing that my friends (including you!) are paying attention keeps me focused on paths to breakthroughs rather then feeling sorry for myself.

Being February, this is the month a lot of people let the cold, dark weather effect how they feel about themselves and their lives. Rather than focus on how much more winter is left (or depend on a groundhog to cheer you up), tell you inner voice that you are going to be cheerful anyway. Remember that winter only lasts so long and that if you act with determination and fun in your life now, people will want to be with you while you move forward. Go full force into a project you are working on or begin something new. Volunteer your time to a cause that makes you feel good. Get friends and family together to say good-bye to the winter doldrums and enjoy being together. Do something to live life full out.

Now is the time to draw on your inner strength and take your challenges on!

Not sure how to get started? I’m always happy to help out. Email me at info @ livingfullout.com. Can’t wait to hear from you!

Rather than bring the disappointment of incomplete intentions into 2012, think of this time of the year as hitting the reset button.  This could mean that you say good-bye and farewell to certain projects. It is okay to say, “You know, I’m just not going to do that,” and be free of what was once considered an obligation.  Other goals you could re-ignite and pursue with a renewed passion, and then there’s the new desires you want to fulfill.

What will make this year different from last year? How can you overcome the general malaise that overtakes a yearlong commitment? Often, people remember their goal over time but forget why they created it, which is a recipe for feeling burdened. Try this: think of one of your 2012 resolutions and write it down. Follow that statement with the sentence “I want to achieve this because….” and write down your motivations. You should automatically feel energized about reaching that goal because you are thinking about how you will feel once you accomplish it. Do this for all of your goals this year.

In 2012, I want to build a garden in my backyard. I want to achieve this because I love to garden, I want to use as much of our yard as possible, and I love homegrown vegetables (tomatoes off the vine!).

I also find timeframes helpful so that I am not overwhelmed with the feeling of having to do them all RIGHT NOW! If you set a time in the future that you are going to begin that project, you can relax and focus. Try this: next to each of those goals, write down a month you would like to begin working on it and then when you want it done.

Build boxes and design garden with planting calendar in January. (year-round)

You know that one of my tenets is support: finding resources to help you reach your goal. That could mean finding people to help you directly, finding organizations to get information, or simply finding a friend to talk it through. Try this: go back to your list and after the time frame, write down at least one resource you will contact for support.

Review square-foot gardening book, call Stacey for advice on backyard gardening.

Still not feeling it? Still feeling heavy and obligated? Here is great news: you don’t have to do anything! That’s right. If you are not ready to declare a goal for the New Year, don’t. Instead, take time to explore your desires and passions. In time you will find activities that you will want to pursue or goals that you will want to achieve. I encourage you to embrace the New Year with hope, excitement and love in your heart and let adventures unfold.

One of my favorite quotes comes from Abraham Lincoln: “The best thing about the future is that it happens one day at a time.” Whether you plan for outcomes or decided to dive in and watch what happens, live 2012 full out!

As always, you are welcome to reach out to me if you need support in achieving your goals. Contact me at info (at) livingfullout.com and let’s talk!

What also excited me about December is thinking about what is possible in the New Year and that excitement allows me to dream BIG.  I use my journal to create a list of goals for the upcoming year. This list contains both personal and professional goals. For each one, I note why this goal is important, what I expect will happen when I achieve the goal and when I want to achieve it by.  I find that the more detailed I am in my vision for the New Year the more likely I am to succeed.  What are your goals for the New Year?

On of my favorite things about December is taking time to share with people I am close to how much I am grateful for their friendship and love.  While some people do this around Thanksgiving, I find that taking the month of December gives me ample time to call old friends, spend quality time with those who live locally, and write letters or emails. I also take this time to give back by doing what I can to make life easier for those in need and provide them inspiration during the holidays.

With December just beginning, what do you want to accomplish?  The great news is you have all month to reflect, plan and give thanks.  Living Full Out is about having gratitude for life. Giving thanks can be expressed by cherishing precious items in our life, but it can also be expressed by acknowledging our personal growth from life experiences.  When you can soak up all that life has to offer, both the good and the bad, and be vulnerable with yourself and others, you can allow yourself to reflect back on your life in the most honest way.  When you are able to release your fears and embrace what is possible, you can let yourself dream and create goals that will inspire you throughout each month of the year. Let yourself be passionate to the core about accomplishing those goals.

Here’s to you embracing all that December has to offer! If you find that you want assistance with setting your New Years goals or if reflecting back at your life unleashes emotions that you are not sure how to handle, I am always here for you.  Keep in mind that while living full out can be adventurous and exciting, it can also make us feel uncomfortable at times. Allow your emotions to give you the energy you need to step forward and act on your goals. I believe in you and remember: You are worth it!

———————————————————

Contact me at info @ livingfullout dot com.